An Exciting Evening or Delusions of Increased Motherhood

"I am excited that maybe I missed the first half." This evening Laura concluded on the root cause of her life problems. The weight loss plateau, mild mood swings and urges to rearrange the house added up to just one thing. "Tim, I just saw my belly move." A good way to get your husband's attention! "Do you feel anything?" Laura asked, sticking her little belly out as far as it will go. "Uh, it just feels like muscles to me honey." Thinking... "Maybe we should try a test." Tests are cheap and history forecasts no sleep at night for me until we have an answer. This may bring up the question of birth control in your mind. Rest assured, reader, we haven't let down our guard. Ever. A few minutes later... (after a negative test) "I guess my intestines are kinda wild cause they are jumpin' around down there. It feels like my lentils are kicking." I agree, those were excellent lentils, but I remember hearing something about 24 more pounds of them in a barrel somewhere from Y2K. Mexican Jumping Lentils?